


you and I will rise again

by lockedinmybody



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, ben takes care of callum, callum accepts ben for who he is, not violent don't worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:35:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22736563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lockedinmybody/pseuds/lockedinmybody
Summary: Ben can feel the anger boiling in his gut, wanting to bubble all the way up and spill over, but he catches Callum's eyes and sees the fear, and gives him a soft smile instead."I'll take care of it," Ben says, leaning in to place a chaste kiss on Callum's lips, "I promise."***Callum's dad tries to infiltrate Callum's life again, manipulating Stuart to turn him against his own brother and trying to pressure Callum into living a more 'respectable' life.Callum breaks and tells Ben about it, and Ben can't let it go.or, Callum learns just how far Ben is willing to go to protect him.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 10
Kudos: 91





	you and I will rise again

He's taken a huge risk.  
One that could cost him everything.  
But if asked, he'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Ben approaches it over dinner.  
"Are you... are you doing okay?" He can hear the desperation in his own voice. _Talk to me, please just talk to me._   
Callum pauses, face flickering with caution, then a quick unconvincing smile plastered on it, as if that’s enough to distract Ben from the cracks appearing everywhere.  
"Yeah 'course, why?" Callum shakes his head incredulously at Ben, and if Ben didn't know Callum any better he'd be pissed off and hurt that Callum is hiding something from him, something so big that Callum feels he can't even share it with Ben.  
But Ben does know him. Also, he's the last person who should be criticizing others for not opening up and talking.

"Because," Ben says, setting his fork down and reaching over to grab Callum's hand, "I can tell you're not well."  
Callum's lip trembles, and his eyes fill, a shiny layer covering all that blue, and Ben can feel his heart twisting in his chest at the sight.  
He rubs his thumb over the back of Callum's hand, trying to maintain a calm and caring exterior, despite the growing uneasiness in his stomach.   
_Something's wrong._

Callum bites the inside of his lip in a futile attempt to hold back the tears that fall down in thick droplets anyway.  
His voice creaks and wobbles as he speaks.  
"It's my dad."

Ben's quick to set the plates aside and return from the kitchen with two cups of tea, the two of them now on the sofa.  
"He's been contacting me," Callum says, fingers tightly clenched around his mug, thumb running over the ear in an almost mechanical way that makes Ben think he doesn't realise he's doing it.  
Callum opens his mouth again to speak but there's no air left so he gulps, and then cowers, face crumbling, and Ben takes the mug away and pulls him in, one arm around his waist and the other coming up to hold the back of his head.  
Callum's body shakes and trembles against him, sobs wanting to burst out, and Ben tells him to let it go.

It's not news to Ben that Jonno's a dick, he's had first row tickets to that shitshow, but there's something about how intensely upset Callum is that makes the knot of worry inside Ben rattle, and Ben hates seeing Callum like this. The usual bright eyes and wide grins are hidden, and they've been like that for a while now.

After a few minutes of sitting together, Ben whispering that they're okay, that everything will be okay - _he'll fucking make sure of it_ \- and smoothing his hands over Callum's back, kissing his shoulder and squeezing his own arms around his frame, Callum pulls back and sits up again, rubbing his hands in his red-rimmed eyes.   
He takes a few deep breaths, trying to steady himself but he gasps every now and then, eyes watering.   
Ben simply grabs Callum's hand and holds it, places both of them on his thigh and waits. 

"My dad, he's, he's been reaching out to me," Callum says eventually, voice getting less shaky as he goes on.   
Ben tightens his grip on Callum's hand slightly, trying to ignore the dread slowly trickling in.   
"Not a few friendly postcards, I take it," Ben says dryly, and Callum looks at him for a moment with those sad droopy eyes, and shakes his head.   
He's not just sad though, Ben realises when he _really_ looks. He's hurt, and scared. 

"At first he would text a couple of times, wanted to know how I was, and I tried to be civil, y'know," Callum shrugs, a weak and defeated lift of his shoulders, "he's my dad. But then he kept going on about how he should move to Walford, make sure I get back on the straight path," he glances quickly at Ben, who can feel the discomfort grow in his own body, can see the way Callum's frame is slumped and small, cowering like a small child being yelled at, the knot in between his eyebrows. 

"Every time I blocked his number he'd get a new one and contact me again," Callum sniffs, wiping the back of his hand under his nose.   
Something clicks in Ben's brain.   
"Wait, is that why you changed your number a month ago?"   
Callum nods at him, and Ben frowns. "He," Callum starts again, voice cracking but he wills himself to push through, clearing his throat, "he got in contact again, and I didn't understand how, because I had changed my number, and there was no way he could know what my new number was." 

At that moment Callum breaks again, tears flowing freely, not the sobbing from before, fueled by an emotional peak, but a silent stream of tears, and Ben has never seen Callum like this. 

"But he called, and it really was him," Callum says, and he pauses, chest shooting up every now and then as his breathing becomes irregular, "and when I asked him how he got my new number, he told me he got it from Stuart." 

Ben's head snaps to the side, disbelief in his eyes as he looks at Callum. _I'll kill him_.  
He swallows once, knowing what Callum needs right now is comfort, not to be confronted with his boyfriend's homicidal tendencies. 

"I didn't even know Stuart was talking to your dad?" Ben says.   
"Neither did I," Callum says, huffing a humorless laugh, "but Jonno's been worming his way into his head. When I confronted Stuart with it, he was completely convinced my dad wants to make amends, start over, become a proper father again."   
Ben scoffs, and Callum gives him a look of sympathy.   
"He's got him wrapped 'round his finger Ben," Callum says, pressing his lips together to stop himself crying, "he wants to ruin my life all over again and I don't know how to stop it." 

Ben sighs, long and slow. He turns sideways so he's facing Callum, scooting a bit closer and leaning in, grabbing Callum's face with both hands.   
Ben's thumb runs under Callum's eye to wipe away a few tears, drying lines already down his cheeks.  
Callum's eyes track his movement, as Ben uses one hand to brush a few hairs back out of Callum's eyes.   
"You," Ben says, holding Callum's head in his hands again, thumbs running over the ridges of bone in Callum's ears, fingers gently tugging on the soft skin on the edge, on his earlobe, "you don't have to do anything."

Ben can feel the anger boiling in his gut, wanting to bubble all the way up and spill over, but he catches Callum's eyes and sees the fear, and gives him a soft smile instead.   
"I'll take care of it," Ben says, leaning in to place a chaste kiss on Callum's lips, "I promise." 

  
He doesn't wait around. That same night, when Callum's lying in the bath that Ben has run for him, he texts a few of his regular contacts, orders them to find out where Callum's dad is holed up. 

Ben's not planning on outsourcing the whole thing; he's learnt from how that went last time. Besides, this couldn't be more personal. 

He thinks about paying Stuart a little visit but then thinks better of it. Stuart is blind to Jonno’s manipulation tactics, and there's a risk of Stuart getting suspicious and blabbing to Jonno; Ben can't have that. 

Everyone just needs to keep their cool. 

His contact gets back to him a week later. Jonno's near. He's been staying on friends' sofa's, moving from one place to another, gradually getting closer Walford.   
Ben keeps one person on him, tracking Jonno's every move.  
He doesn't do much during the day other than trips to the shops for beer, and meeting Stuart once a week. 

By the time Ben's gotten his hands on a gun, his head starts to spin a little bit. He's normally not one to waver in moments like these, but he can't help it. This is Callum's dad.   
But he's seen what bad fathers do.   
Callum's still not sleeping well, eating a lot less than before, and when he comes home from work he's completely exhausted, unable to do anything. 

Ben sits with him on the sofa, the night before, Callum's head on his chest as Ben pets his hair. Something's on the telly but Ben doesn't think either of them are paying attention.   
"Tired?" Ben asks, pressing a kiss to the top of Callum's head.   
Callum hums in response.   
It's quiet for a few moments, and then, "Stuart came to see me again."   
Ben makes sure he doesn't freeze, but keeps petting over Callum's hair. "Yeah, what about?" Callum shrugs against him. "Wanted to know how I was. Didn't take him long to bring up dad though." 

Ben presses his lips together. Callum isn't like this, this quiet and small, like there's no point to anything anymore.   
He misses the wide grins, going out for drinks together with their friends or taking Lexi out for a day. 

But Callum goes downstairs in the mornings to work at the undertakers and then walks upstairs again at the end of the day. Ben hasn't commented on how Callum has gradually become scared to go outside, but he's noticed it. 

Then again, he gets it. Callum feels like his dad could be lurking around any corner.   
And with slowly building pressure coming from Stuart as well about needing to reconnect with his dad, Ben couldn’t be more convinced that he _has_ to do this.

"He's been getting into Stuart's head about you and me," Callum says quietly, sitting up to look Ben in the eye, "he keeps asking if I'm sure I'm happy with you, if this is what I want."   
Ben grabs hold of Callum's hand. "Are you happy with me?"   
Callum gives him a startled look, eyes getting shiny. "Yes _of course_ Ben, why would you even _ask_ -" 

Ben brings Callum's hand to his mouth and presses a kiss to it.   
"Then that's all that matters." 

The next morning, Ben goes out later than Callum, as usual.   
They have breakfast together, and Ben hugs Callum close before he leaves. "I'm proud of you," Ben says, and Callum laughs lightly. "What for?"   
Ben shrugs, pulling Callum's coat together, "just because."   
Callum narrows his eyes at him, corners of his mouth turned up and then leans down to kiss him.   
"I'll see you later, yeah?" Callum says, standing near the staircase, "call me if you need anything." Ben nods at him, even though he won't. "Yeah, I will." 

When Ben comes home that night, Callum's already there, curled up on the sofa.  
He lifts his head at the sound of Ben’s footsteps. “Hey.”  
Ben smiles at him. “Hey.”   
He notices the dark rings under Callum’s eyes as he gets a weak smile in return, and Ben doesn’t feel as bad about what he’s done.   
“How was work?” Ben says, shrugging off his coat and making his way over to Callum.  
“Yeah, fine,” Callum says as Ben sits down. He smiles at Ben again, more politeness than genuine emotion, and then turns his attention back to the telly. 

This, _this_ is what Ben hates. The hollow, the empty that sits between them now because Callum doesn’t feel safe, not even in their own little pocket where they’re building their life together. He doesn’t feel like he can ever let his guard down.   
This is why Ben did it, and this is why he refuses to feel guilty.

In the weeks that follow, Callum gets his shine back, little by little.   
There’s colour in his cheeks again, the lights in his eyes turned back on.   
Ben has a flower for a boyfriend, and all he needed was a little sunlight. But you can’t get that when you’ve always got the curtains drawn, so afraid of the outside that you hide yourself away in an effort to protect yourself, protect the life you’ve worked so hard for.   
It changes things between them drastically, at home as well. There’s air again now, room to breathe. Callum occupies space instead of letting the space consume him. 

“D’you think Lexi would like to have a sleepover here some time?” Callum asks one night when they’re doing the washing up together.   
Ben laughs. “‘Course she would, she’d love that.”  
Callum’s eyes get wide as he hands Ben another plate. “We could get some of her favourite films, build her a fort with pretty lights, do it properly.”   
Ben pauses, gives him a pointed look. “Are you trying to become her favourite parent?”  
Callum flushes and rolls his eyes at Ben. “Shut up, I’m not her parent. Doesn’t mean I can’t do something nice though.”

Ben reaches past him to put the plate away. “You’re her parent as far as she’s concerned.”  
Callum looks at him. “You think?”   
Ben nods, flicking the tea towel over his shoulder. “She wants you involved in all the family stuff, because to her, you’re part of that circle.”  
Callum looks back down to the water again, corners of his mouth turned up in a secretive smile, and Ben takes the tea towel and lightly smacks Callum’s backside.   
“Soft.”

Ben can’t remember the last time they had a conversation this light and airy, something warm and sentimental.

They go out again, have drinks with Jay and Lola in the Vic, dinner at Kathy’s. They go shopping with Lexi and Callum lets her buy too much stuff, to Lexi’s delight.   
Callum’s the first to suggest going out and doing something when a sunny day comes along. Ben hears him laugh again, out loud, deep from his belly.   
He teases Ben just as much as the other way around; just the way Ben likes it.   
Callum gets flirty again, in the privacy of their own home, and Ben revels in the feeling of his hands on his hips as he comes to stand behind Ben, kissing at his neck as a laughing Ben swats him away but doesn’t let him get too far. 

Things feel normal again.

It’s a few weeks later when it happens, maybe a month or so after the day.

Ben’s in the kitchen making them both a brew, Callum’s on the sofa.  
He’s talking about something funny Lexi said, in the middle of his story, when Callum interrupts him.   
“Ben,” Callum says, his tone of voice doing something weird, an immediate shift in the mood obvious, “I need to ask you something.”  
Ben takes the spoon out of the mug and brings them both over.   
“Okay, shoot.”  
Callum’s face does something funny when Ben says that, and he takes a few deep breaths. It takes him such a while to work up to it that Ben pats his knee a few times.   
“Go on, spit it out.”

Callum sighs again, squeezing his eyes closed for a moment and then faces Ben.  
“Did you do something to my dad?”

Now it’s Ben’s turn to sigh.  
He didn’t tell Callum, didn’t plan to. But he also promised himself that if Callum were to ask, he’d be honest.

Ben stands up and crouches down in front of Callum, facing him.   
“It’s just, I haven’t heard anything from him in weeks,” Callum says quietly, meeting Ben’s eyes every now and then, “and he just suddenly went quiet.”  
Ben swallows.   
“Not long after we talked about it,” Callum adds. 

Ben looks down at his knees for a moment and then back up, grabbing Callum’s hands and holding them. He _has_ to do this. He _had_ to do this.  
“I did. I took care of it.”  
The soft movements of Ben’s thumbs running over Callum’s hands are a stark contrast to the sinister meaning of his words.   
“I took care of him,” Ben breathes, “and I know you’re probably angry with me, but I couldn’t watch you struggle and suffer over that man anymore. He doesn’t get to ruin your life, not when you deserve so many good things.”  
He can’t actually read Callum’s face, and it’s terrifying. His entire relationship feels like it’s hanging by a thread.   
“You were so unhappy, and I knew there wasn’t anything else I could do, and I wish I could say I’m sorry, but the truth is, I’m not.”

Callum blinks at him, hands still in Ben’s. 

Ben squeezes them. “Say something. Anything.”

“Thank you,” Callum whispers, before leaning forward and placing his mouth on Ben’s, who’s so surprised he nearly gets knocked back, a small noise in the back of his throat.   
Callum paws at him, frantic suddenly, hands on either side of Ben’s face as he kisses him.  
Ben falls forward on his knees, now kneeling on the ground, and he winces slightly at the impact, hands on Callum’s arms as he puts some distance between them, foreheads pressed together.  
“You’re not angry? Or disappointed that I’m not the boyfriend you thought you had?” Ben says lowly in the small space between them.

Callum pulls back then, eyes glimmering as he looks at Ben.   
“You _are_ the boyfriend I thought I had, and you’re all I want, Ben.”  
Ben gives him a small smile, relief flooding his chest as he realises Callum isn’t turning him away.  
“I, I’m sure you have questions-”  
“No,” Callum answers immediately. “I don’t need to know.”  
Ben nods slowly.  
“Okay.”

So Ben doesn’t tell him. Doesn’t tell him about how badly he hurt Jonno. About how he didn’t stick around to find out whether or not he’d survived the bullet wound.   
About how he’d screamed at him, told him to leave his son alone so he could finally be happy.   
About how, if he were to turn up again, Ben has made sure he will be the first to know.   
There’s nothing tracing it back to Ben, everything’s been wiped clean or gotten rid of. 

“Stuart’s gotten a message from him about how he’s decided to move away,” Ben says, “so maybe he’ll come around again in time, without someone whispering toxic bullshit in his ear.”  
Callum nods.  
“He won’t bother you anymore, it’s all over now,” Ben says, making sure Callum’s looking him in the eyes.   
“I love you,” Callum says, rushed, like he’s bursting with it, and Ben grins at him. There’s something close to awe in Callum’s eyes, like he can’t believe how far Ben is willing to go to protect him.  
“I love you too,” Ben replies before Callum pushes forward and kisses him again, lifting Ben from his crouched position and bringing him up, closer, sprawled over Callum’s lap. 

Ben shivers at Callum’s warm hand under his shirt, gliding over bare skin, and there’s nothing quite like being loved so unconditionally.   
Callum sees the best in him, but he also knows Ben would do anything to protect him. There’s no way Ben would have stood by, watched Callum wither away as his dad got closer and closer. Going to the police would have been pointless without evidence, and Ben doesn’t trust the old bill to get it right anyway.

“I’m so glad I have you,” Callum whispers when he’s near Ben’s ear, placing small kisses down the side of Ben’s neck, and Ben uses both hands to grab Callum’s face, look him in the eyes.  
“Always.”  
“Always,” Callum echoes, before kissing Ben again.

Everyone on the square has an opinion on him, Ben’s sure. They’ve made up their minds on whether or not Ben Mitchell is a good person. They’re not afraid to let him know either. But at the end of the day, there’s only a few opinions that actually matter.  
And things are _good_ with him and Callum.   
Ben won’t let anything ruin that.

**Author's Note:**

> hello friends!!  
> well, here we are. i originally wrote this for the ballum secret valentine's 2020 over on tumblr, but i wanted to post it here as well. really hope you enjoy it, let me know what you thought if you feel like it! <3  
> you can also find me on [tumblr](https://softlofty.tumblr.com/), i am always open to prompts or lines to work off of :)


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